fatvegan

The Scallop Burger is the food non-animal-eaters have dreamed of since the very first animal-eaters started opening the fish and chip shops many millenia ago. Over the years I have come to appreciate the finer details of The Scallop Burger and notice the little nuances that really make one special.

The ideal Scallop Burger will have two potato scallops not one.

It will have a toasted or grilled roll because even two scallops just don't have the heating power to penetrate the cold, cold salad additions.

It will have beetroot. This really is the item that starts to move it from a cold tomato roll with fried potato to something great.

Lettuce and tomato are standard but must not be neglected.

One must ensure that neither butter nor cheese rear their pesky evil heads because kindly (albeit evil) fish and chip shop owners frequently insert them in misguided acts of dear sweet loveliness.

The Burger will have sauce. Probably BBQ but for some tomato may be preferred. It is the sauce that finally draws The Scallop Burger away from any lingering association with "health" food.

The clincher however, the addition that makes The Scallop Burger the equal of any fish and chip shop burger, the final touch, is the humble onion. Fried. Obviously. This elevates our burger to new heights. The difficulty with it being that the potato scallop's habitat is the deep-fryer while onion prefers to nest on a grill. The fish and chip shop owner may be somewhat reluctant but if you took care not to call them evil out loud back when they tried to offer you cheese, then they may oblige. And I assure you, it is worth asking.