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16 May 2016

Concentrating Cuterie

I have decided to invent a new invention. I am going to dub it the Concentrating Cuterie and it works as thus.

Some background: I live in a caravan with a number of adorable wild mice. I love these little guys. But they also drive me a bit crazy. Because they eat my food. And drink my olive oil. And eat my pillows. And eat my cupboards. And eat my caravan walls. And humbug visitors. And smell not cute.

My recent efforts have been to discourage their constant presence by collecting them in little box tip traps, colouring in their tails with coloured markers, and walking them up the valley to a new home. It works quite well. It's nice to go for a walk. It's nice to see them run off into a slightly more wild bush. It's nice not to crush or drown them in death traps. However, it's not extraordinarily effective in achieving it's goal.

So my new plan is to develop a Concentrating Cuterie. I am not entirely sure about it, and it rather smacks of liberalism, but I am going to give it a go. Because I am a horrid product of my time.

The Concentrating Cuterie will operate largely like those slippery death drowning pool bucket traps that are so popular (but not with mice). However, instead of a drowning death in a bucket of water-logged little corpses, I'm hoping to soft-land the little guys into a nice straw-filled "home". It will have water and food and lots of adorable friends to play with. And as time goes by, I am hoping that the dispersed (and quite annoying) cuteness will transform into a concentrated (less annoying) cuteness hub.

And then, from time to time, I will walk the Concentrating Cuterie up the valley and after a brief desocialisation workshop, will release the little guys that want to leave, into the wild.

That is my invention.

Warning: Aggregate cuteness is not strictly linear with effectiveness of concentration.

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