fatvegan

For my birthday, Anmol bought me the most amazing toaster I have ever seen. It has extra-wide slots and high-lifter. And guess what – it has crumpet control! The best invention since the toaster. Thanks Anmol.

The sky this morning was painted with bright grey butter. It was badly across the whole hemisphere, with gaps showing through. Maybe our planet is actually a huge piece of round toast that God has been slowly toasting for the last 4 billion years. That might make us the toast mould. You wouldn't think that God would get impatient with toast like us petty humans, but he obviously has. After all, waiting 4 billion years for toast isn't that much for a God. When he bites into us, and has a bit of a crunch on the Artic region, he's going to regret taking us out of the toaster so soon. God may not be quick to anger, but he must be pretty quick to hunger. I can relate.

I had a great day today. I discovered a great new CD. I got a pretty good mark for my exam. In my social science lecture I saw a girl eating a piece of toast. It had the crusts cut off. And we were already 45 minutes into the lecture, so I don't know how she managed. But it was definitely the highlight of the lecture for me. Then on the bus on the way home I saw a guy with a big two litre tub of ice cream, trying to eat it while the bus was moving. He was hugging the tub with his left arm, and trying to get big scoops of ice cream out with his right hand. It was working welll, except it didn't leave him any hands with which to hang on. So he keep getting bumped around and running into people. It made me laugh. Jem is thinking of doing a cartoon about it for her uni project.

Don't even remember what her lips felt like on mine, most of the time Bob Dylan

I love my bed to bits. It's so soft and warm. My king-sized quilt is quite simply the best thing since sliced bread (well toasted).